i’m feeling desperate lately. it’s the kind of desperation that i have never encountered before…more than being desperate for money or desperate for people or desperate for some situation…
im desperate for God.
i know it sounds really..cliche. but i feel like i’m nearing the end of myself…i refuse to have anything between me and God and i want to literally tear down anything that comes in the way. i am tired of being fearful and believing the lie that i’m not secure in my Papa’s love. because the reality is…i have always been in a secure place in his heart. it’s a matter of choice as to whether i’ll believe that i’m always in that safe place, no matter what my circumstance looks like..
so i give up myself. i am not my own. i can’t do anything apart from him and i don’t want to move if it’s not out of being compelled by his love.
if i have not love…I HAVE NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
and i want to be filled. i want to be consumed. LET IT CONSUME ME. my pain, my dreams, my desires, my hopes, my past, my life….all of it consumed in the fire of his love. i wont have any of it anyway…not if i don’t have HIM.
b/c that’s my heart’s deepest cry. i want him and him alone.
