what do you think of that as a name for a daily devotional?? clever? too much? i think i would like to call my daily devotionals that…since most (not all) of my revelations come in the shower…but anyway!
i had a really interesting day today as God gently reminded me that his love looks like something REAL to me.
the past two weeks have been filled with desperation, hunger, overflow, waiting, and adoration all with my Jesus and it has been so glorious. i feel like the scales on my eyes are falling off and my once blind eyes can now start seeing…
well, today was just the same as i spent an hour or so with Jesus in the afternoon. mind you, i try in the mornings but for some reason i cannot wake up early enough for the life of me! maybe God is leading me into a night season…it IS 3:19am right now. but as i was saying, i was before him, baring my heart to him as i was completely honest in telling him how i was sick of the current (and most prominent) stronghold in my life: performance/striving. a midst all the serving, i’m realizing that there are so many layers of this lie of the orphan spirit that i tolerate within me.
as i’ve been loving him and letting him love me, he’s graciously been erasing the lies and re-writing truth on my heart. and it has been SO GOOD. so i just started worshiping and i felt his presence right next to me..and as i was praying, i laid myself on the floor in front of my window and looked out at the puffy-cloud-filled sky and enjoyed his presence right next to me.
after a little bit, i got up and i remembered wanting to go to the Goodwill thrift store in hopes of finding the entire set of the Chronicles of Narnia. i love this series! and it’s always been a little desire of mine to own them and read all of them :] so i got up and i grabbed some starbucks and headed on my way to the Christiansburg Goodwill. i spent a good two hours there and ended up finding 4 of the 7 books i wanted. it was so cool how they were there! but towards the end of my search, i started re-thinking about buying the books. thoughts of “i dont really need these” or “i should read my bible” or “i should spend my time praying/in the word rather than reading fiction” flooded my head…
i ended buying the books anyway cuz they were SO CHEAP (i only spent $3.15 on all 4!!) and i went home a happy little camper. i put them on my dresser and finished the rest of my evening. and it wasnt until an hour ago when i was showering that God spoke to me about the books. i suddenly felt this gratitude for the fact that they were at the store when i had wanted them…it wasn’t a pressing necessity/desire that i should have them. but i felt God impress on my heart that he knows i love to read and that even though i didn’t particularly NEED those books, he knew i wanted them anyway. and they were there…for me. for my enjoyment. cuz i love the stories in Narnia. and it just makes me happy.
it was like a light bulb turned on. and i was reminded of a story with Heidi Baker where one Christmas they were giving out presents and some girls wanted beads..but they didn’t have any. so they prayed and God miraculously gave them beads. and it wasn’t a necessity/pressing desire. they just wanted pretty beads for Christmas. but the heart of Papa knew that beads would make them happy. and he knew the heart of his children..
that’s our Papa’s heart. to graciously give us all we need…and to lavish us with things that just make us happy because he knows us so well..and he loves to make us smile. how simple is that? such love, such promise. we have a GOOD FATHER and he knows us full well. and it pleases him as we come to him as children…and his love is what propels us to love others, to show them that they are children who also belong to Papa.
he is good! 
